Dreamcatcher

The first time I ever performed on stage was at around 11 years old.

Prior stepping on stage, I was always a nervous wreck, my palms will spread its sweatiness to my fingertips and my heart will beat like a rat's. Even whilst performing, my mind will dart from "oh god people just stopped talking and they are looking at me" to "hey this is sweet i have their attention" to "oh but that means I have to make no mistakes" to "...what if I do make a mistake..." to god knows what.

In essence, my mind would not be in sync with my fingers. Now that's a big problem: if the word "mistake" lights up in my brains, my fingers will freak out. On good days it's a controlled freak; on bad days, well, you get an earfull.

It has been 4 years since performing in a venue as large as BMW Edge, Federation Square.

As usual, I was fretting prior the performance. I was pacing around, wrestling with my fingers, relaxing my arms, shoulders, my heart felt like it was stuck. William Shi (Apollo president) gave me a beautiful opening that soothed my heart rate -thankyou thankyou.

The funny thing is, my brain was not yabbering during that performance. For the first time in my life, I was in a zone. A zone of peace when the hall was silent, and all eyes were gazed at the piano and the player. For the first time, I felt at ease- like letting go of something heavy.

Perhaps the past 4 years of being not musically-focussed was a good thing. Consider it a retreat: time for some soul-searching and mind-cleansing. Now, I'm catching my dream.

Thankyou for everyone who went. It's so heartfelt when people can gather together for something. Usually it's only my folks who listen to me and support me...never did I have a performance with so many of my friends there.

For my friends who couldn't be there because you guys are all over the world: thankyou for your emails and your kind, kind words

God you guys are all so AWSOME....