Home

Yes, I have a home! It's been 5 years since I can actually call a place where I find permenancy and security...yet again, I have been living in public housing for some time. 

It's even stranger having the place to yourself, even if it's only for a week. The space, quietness and freedom to do absolutely ANYTHING is overwhelming. I am terrified of downstairs when the TV is off -I prefer to be in my room, door closed and within the visible comfort of my bedroom walls. My little pet rat, Cheesecake, is my solace here, and without a doubt she is absolutely sick of my constant nagging dependency to hug her. 

Yet, it is blissful. I am grateful. Oh, so grateful!

dear oh dear

Oh. My. God. FINALLY MY ESSAYS ARE DONE!!!!!!! Now this has to be a record of my life (provided I don't do this again..): 3 essays, completed in 10 days -from the beginnings of choosing the questions to finishing references !!!!! ARGH I'm now so excited I can't even sleep. What lovely topics (not music subject) they were:

Criminology: Proposed a reform to the prison system for Victorian women prisoners.
Music: some random crap about Monteverdi. Did that in 2 days..
Psychology: Discussed effects of early deprivation in kids.

Heavy stuff! My brain fries nicely in its cranium. I have read and written so much that i can't even write properly, and in constant agitation due to the lack of words left in there...

I am spent, I am spent.

My relationship with gummy bear

I love them.

They keep me on my toes.
They keep me high.

They warm my fingers.
They smile at me.

They keep away the sleeping bug,
So I can blast away in a jam.

But if I have too much of them,
I pop.

And,
This is the shittiest poem
I have ever wrote.

Bee wax

I am finally off the Vodafone prepaid and broke my fear of commitment to sign a 2 year contract with Three.

Very shiny, sleek looking Sony Ericsson z610i. Although longer in length than my old phone, the LG4015, the capabilities of this phone is sweet. I'm not much of a gadget person, so I'll leave all alternative information to you guys.

Last week I was offered employment in, ironically, AB Orthodontics, a major orthodontic supplier company. This defines my week into a back-to-back, go-go-go, non-stop pumping iron-hot clad. In other words, I seek time to breath in between the day, night and weekend jobs!

Nevertheless, I prefer being busy than bored out of my wits. Although I do wish to pay Sydney a visit, now that a dear friend of mine has moved there for a while, the thought is more than tempting...

Four AM

My dearest, most beloved Cheesecake is now my love of all time. Sure she has always been a part of my heart but as they say, time can break or make relationships and, in this case...it has nurtured my dear little one to one crazy little pumpkin.

At friend's place now, and this surge of wanting to blog has potentiated to me signing online. It was an absolute misfortune to see how boring, frankly, the Music Faculty end of exams party was...ah, there goes my toast..

Ok reading back to what I just wrote it sounds totally UFO

Been

It's been a while (again) since I last posted a genuine, up-to date-, what-the-hell-is-she-on-about post. Although I can say I was busy, who wasn't? Some major highlights of the past few months have been nicely blended into my daily life that I cannot tell it apart from it's initial excitement, however, I am very aware that I cannot take caffeine as I used to be able to! Having major heart palpitations to the extent I thought I was going to have a cardiac arrest was not a delicious aftertaste...let alone the hyper-angstiness of my brain was sufficient to warrant some sort of mental-illness conviction.

As 6 months into this new direction has bypassed, and only one more exam to go to conclude the 1st semester into Music/Psychology/German, one cannot help but wonder where does time, truly go to? I can still remember the last rave I conquered -Gatecrasher- like it was only last month. Yet...several features of this time travel has already encompassed many-a-events I cannot possibly recall all in one go.

Let's just say there is one thing I like to broadcast here, as an advantage to exploit some ethical awareness in this wide world of cybernet. Have you ever wondered the essence of arrogance in those who just happen to possess certain skills that they may be considered a 'superior' to their counterparts? Either that or pure pride. Having walked out of her piano exam, this young 18 year old was joyfully and ecstatically jumping up and down, claiming her 'perfection' in her exam. Needless to say, whilst she was bathing in all her glory and assumed victory to her friend, a few of the other nervous first years were and definitely, within ear-shot and visual range of this exuberant array of behaviour. Personally, I was down-right disgusted. Sure, you may have gunned down your exam, but it is by no means and justification that you can exploit that, to further degrade the already depleting confidence levels of your peers. Secondly, to have such skills in the first place is by no means a tool for you to glorify your talent. And don't tell me that you're only human to have done this...so were those who saw you.

Addicted to Armin

My god. What a night. You'd expect him to spin off with some mellow warm-up (as what other DJs usually do), but...by the time we arrived (11pm), the arena was well into full swing. The music was a great mixture of trance, progressive and little minimal (thanks Armin). I would daresay his style can pave way for "Commercial Trance" if one could exist.

The idea of all dressed in white poses a very elegant look for this concert. Although I had quite a bit of trouble searching for a good white top, the amount of time invested into such expedition nevertheless paid off...

For all who are yet to become more acquainted with the sounds of Armin, this is not something to kid about. Give yourself the liberty to open up to a new dimension of fantastic auditory entertainment...although do be a little patient -I, for one, definitely took some time off after hearing the first few tracks of his, having found them a bit too strange to deal with at first!

Now, I'm just dealing with some minor deaf issues after that heavy sound blasting (being right in front of the speakers!)

SCREAMING FISH

A
RR
RRR
RRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRR! !RRR
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
GGGG GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG GGGG
GGG GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG GGGG
GG GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG GG
G GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG G
HHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHH HHHHHH
HHH HHH
HH HH
HH HH
!! !!

The Road Not Taken

Let's just say for the past 2 weeks or so my mind went on a mini-retirement. Sometimes, to have a little pressure is good -in healthy amounts, it can stimulate challenge and a drive for improvement. However, like everything else, an excess in a particular 'something' is aversive: the withdrawal symptom. Perhaps that's what was happening in the past fortnight...in fact, I had such a negative feeling towards even going near the piano that, when Ron asked me to play for him at my lesson, I had to swallow tears into my stomach.

After acknowledging this unhealthy situation, I finally spoke to Ron about it. I'm glad that we both came to a mutual conclusion that the psychology of a musician is very important and fragile...especially for one who is just getting into the groove of things, as one as myself. I shall spend 365 days to pick up my scattered bits and pieces, and hopefully put them together to give a better picture for everyone.

Besides the music...

Cheesecake is pregnant again! I wonder how many she will have this time.

There is not one day I am haunted by the ghost of dentistry. How does one 'get over' this 'breakup' without going a little senile?

I cannot help but stop my mind wondering back 5 years ago, where a poem by Robert Frost solidified in my head as the last parting words of a friend. I will share it with you, and you should think carefully about his words...what was/is this road, for you?

Robert Frost (1874–1963). Mountain Interval. 1920.

1. The Road Not Taken

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;	5
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,	10
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.	15
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.	20

(Except, in hindsight, I just realised it is full of negative connotations...haha, took me long enough to see that!)